I have clicked on every single link that has to do with songwriting advice. Most of it is helpful. But I found I could not implement any of the advice I sought until I had addressed my own little storybook of excuses, traumas, joys, and limitations.

Here’s some hard truths I had to accept before I could take action for myself and (allow) myself success:

1. Get specific. Vagueness is the key to procrastination, questioning, and insecurity, none of which are going to help you get better at anything. Yet many of us are extremely vague about what we actually want. Why do you write? Do you want to write for other people? Do you write to process your feelings? Is it reasonable to ask for feedback on a song you wrote to help you heal from something personal?

2. Spend money on yourself, and believe you are worth that investment. If you falter on this, I implore you to do the hard work to demand why you don’t think you are worthy of spending that money. Take a moment to hear what the voices are saying that are stopping you from investing in yourself. Write them down. Start your work from this place. I did not progress anywhere until I started spending money on myself. Money gives you access. Access gives you opportunity. Professionals invest in themselves constantly. You’re going to begin meeting the people you want in these spaces.

3. You need to separate your self-worth from your art. To be a songwriter or part of the music industry at all, is to experience rejection. It’s part of the process. A rejected song is not a rejection of you. A REJECTED SONG IS NOT A REJECTION OF YOU. Write that out several times, my friend. The work of this separation is the work of a professional.

4. You need to make a really nice demo. Budget anywhere from $400-$1,200 for it. Worst case scenario? You’ve got a really nice sounding version of your song, forever. I can’t recall whether I read it on a blog or heard it at a music conference, but some wise person somewhere once equated a rough voice memo demo to going to a job interview in sweatpants. Here’s what I know from personal experience: my songs didn’t get any notice or accolades until I got them professionally demoed. Same songs, different package.

5. Fixing your internal problems won’t kill your artistic drive. It will improve it. Guess what themes are continually asked for in sync licensing? “Best day ever,” “friendship,” “I’m a winner,” etc. WHY? Because there aren’t enough songs like that. What would you need to change in your life to allow you to write about these themes with sincerity? Your life experiences are yours and will never change. But what happens if your perspective on them changes? What if it opens you up to a whole spectrum of creativity you’ve never experienced before?

6. COLLABORATE. Songwriting and producing can be quite lonely. It’s very hard to self-motivate without a support system, and yet many of us subscribe to this extreme DIY belief that we must do it all alone. Go to open mics, schedule co-writes, attend seminars, or just chat with other songwriters. Talk shop, vent, seek help, and notice when you’re lonely. It means it’s time to reach out. There’s so many online groups out there to find folks. I started on the free Taxi message boards (and still have some great friends from there!).

7. Everyone is an imposter. Philosopher and The School of Life founder Alain de Botton says, “Life is short and we’re all idiots.” Some days will be better than others, but please know the people that act like they have it all together, don’t. Over the last several years I have found myself distancing from these types of people. I want to hear from people who have done the work and are not ashamed to share the struggle and failures they’ve experienced on their way to success. Who do you find yourself drawn to and why?

What has worked for you? Was there any advice or lessons that finally allowed you to shift your thinking or achieve something you always wanted?