I’ll admit, I was getting a little smug. Almost three years in, and I had yet to catch Covid-19. On the Tuesday before Christmas I was at lunch with my friend Marcia and marveling that I’d been able to dodge it for this long. Maybe I was immune? I posited.

But no. Within two days I was looking at my first positive Covid-19 test. Hubris at its best. I’m lucky to report that it felt like a bad cold and I got to quarantine in beautiful Maine. I’m grateful to report that I didn’t give it to anyone I exposed (the list was long).

Now that I’m almost 4 weeks out, I’m finding the hardest part has been singing again. I want to sing, but it will often bring on a coughing fit. My vocal control isn’t very good and the minute I add volume, my pitch wanders aimlessly. The breathlessness has felt bewildering. To not have access to the air your expect and to instead feel the rush of your heartbeat in your chest when you exert yourself too much is very, very, humbling.

Even more humbling is that I’ve coached a lot of singers post-Covid-19 and post illness. I only hope I was gentle as I listened to them and gave them enough rest between exercises as we explored their voice. Now I am reminded that to find your way to “home base” after a week or two of coughing can be disorienting and disheartening. We all know that in theory, but to live it and feel it and be silenced by it is something quite different.

I guess I’m writing tonight as a reminder that we are all susceptible to illness. Losing your voice is confusing, frustrating, and humbling.

That word keeps coming up for me: humbling. Humbled.

That’s the best way to describe these first few weeks of 2023 as I vocalize with a desire to sing, but a set of vocal cords that is still healing from the gale force winds of respiratory illness.

So to all of you who are in the midst of illness right now (I think it’s a lot of America, and the world?), here are my best tips when it’s time to sing again:

1) be very gentle with yourself and your voice. If it’s not doing something you want it to, you’re not going to get it back to “normal” by forcing it.

2) humidifier all the time. All winter!

3) I found I couldn’t vocalize on an ooo or an eee without coughing. Ahhhs on a slide are okay. Do what you can tolerate up and down your range with a lot of breaks! Let your body lead you. Mind told me when I needed a break. I was practically panting from the exertion.

4) Notice how much volume you’re using. I have found I need to sing much more quietly to remain control and solid tone. I will keep building on this, but this “noticing” is going to help me find my new baseline until I bounce back.

5) Your vocal cords (and mine) are no doubt still swollen. I still have a dry cough, which means I’m making my cords crash together hard each time I cough. Be mindful if some of your coughs can be held back or whether you can replace it with the disgusting but effective “silent cough.” (Look it up).

Take good care, my friends. Let’s find a healthy balance soon.